Age is a funny thing. And I now understand why some people say it is really a state of mind... it's how you feel (though others may argue that whoever says that just doesn't want to admit that they're old!!) As children we are always in a rush to grow up - to be seen as mature, independent beings, able to do things on our own. I am witnessing this already in my two-year-old, Isla, whose favourite phrase is: "Isla dooos it!!"
For all of us it's different, but I think for me it hit when I turned twenty, that I was no longer in a rush to get older. Even more recently though, on reaching 28 (my big Saturn Return year) I came to finally realising that while I still am in no rush to get older, I also am no longer wishing I was any younger.
For a while I think I was worried that over the years my looks would fade, I'd get (the inevitable) wrinkles, would find the most basic yoga class a great challenge and health problems would soar. The irony in that is that with each consecutive birthday I only become more aware of the importance of expanding my knowledge on health, fitness and general wellbeing. And so it is this new wisdom that makes me feel suddenly comfortable with the skin I'm in, without that old anxiety plaguing me over my looks, etc.
For all of us it's different, but I think for me it hit when I turned twenty, that I was no longer in a rush to get older. Even more recently though, on reaching 28 (my big Saturn Return year) I came to finally realising that while I still am in no rush to get older, I also am no longer wishing I was any younger.
For a while I think I was worried that over the years my looks would fade, I'd get (the inevitable) wrinkles, would find the most basic yoga class a great challenge and health problems would soar. The irony in that is that with each consecutive birthday I only become more aware of the importance of expanding my knowledge on health, fitness and general wellbeing. And so it is this new wisdom that makes me feel suddenly comfortable with the skin I'm in, without that old anxiety plaguing me over my looks, etc.
Now, while I still try to take good care of myself physically, it is not so much about what others think as it may have been in my teens and early twenties, than it is about how I feel... in other words, I am not striving to create some "image" of myself to others, but am getting more in touch with what does and does not feel right for me.
As an example - to mark my impending year of Saturn Return, I decided to take the plunge and cut off all my hair, a move I had been aching to make in years, but had never had the courage to do before.
As an example - to mark my impending year of Saturn Return, I decided to take the plunge and cut off all my hair, a move I had been aching to make in years, but had never had the courage to do before.
This time it was easy: there was no hesitation, no long, drawn out rituals of saying goodbye to my long, bleached locks and, most importantly, no change of heart right at the eleventh hour. I just went in there, and without any real plan or anybody knowing what I was about to do (as I hadn't wanted to set myself up for disappointment) I just did it. And straight away I became a new woman: somehow liberated.
Three weeks on, and the compliments are still coming. But I think more than my looks, it has been my bravery people are commending. I even had quite a few people say I have inspired them to do the same – to free themselves from the burden of fussing and that sticky summer sacrifice that often comes with flaunting gorgeous tresses. My partner is not smitten with my new look, but I have reason to believe this is only because he is trying to hang on to the 15-year-old long-haired brunette gypsy girl he met so long ago... an image that may have matched who I was then, but does not match the me I have since become.
It seems as though we always talk about what we want to do, rather than just doing it. As humans we are, both literally and metaphorically, attached to not just our hair but to our youthful looks. But I'd like to think that with age comes the wisdom to know the difference between feeling good because others approve of you and feeling good because you approve of yourself.
* Zanna Taeni *
Three weeks on, and the compliments are still coming. But I think more than my looks, it has been my bravery people are commending. I even had quite a few people say I have inspired them to do the same – to free themselves from the burden of fussing and that sticky summer sacrifice that often comes with flaunting gorgeous tresses. My partner is not smitten with my new look, but I have reason to believe this is only because he is trying to hang on to the 15-year-old long-haired brunette gypsy girl he met so long ago... an image that may have matched who I was then, but does not match the me I have since become.
It seems as though we always talk about what we want to do, rather than just doing it. As humans we are, both literally and metaphorically, attached to not just our hair but to our youthful looks. But I'd like to think that with age comes the wisdom to know the difference between feeling good because others approve of you and feeling good because you approve of yourself.
* Zanna Taeni *
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